Arakani

Hey you


I was just wondering if somebody's interested in an Art Trade with me? Nothing complicated, and mine's gonne be traditional, maybe color Pencils, maybe acrylics.

No Spots, and it would maybe take some time, but I wanna draw some characters again.

So, anybody?

Hey

Well, do you still remember me?
I don't.
Actually, I don't want this to be an emotional journal, but you know. Can't change it.

Right now I live in the states. I love it here, and I thought it's gonna be a big change of who I am. But it's not.
I'm not unhappy with me, and actually it doesn't matter to you, and that's ok.

I think I've never mentioned it before, but I need to clear my mind.
The truth about my art, that would be something to start with, mh?
A lot of people started drawing because they loved it, found passion in it, and and and.
Not me. I started art because everybody else did, but it was cool. And I kinda still do it because of that.
I think I am a person who doesn't try to express something with art. I'm a person who needs someone saying "good job" or "well done".
It's really hard for me to realize that, but I think I just need it. I want to be somehow special.
And so I started drawing, and I appreciate all the requests I got, because people cared about me, someone who can't draw at all, I mean, you've seen my pictures. Then there was the time I thought I would be with the great artists here. I mean, you know it, I know it, the thing about "Oh my, X is gonna make a request/Art Trade for mee!!!!" or something like that. I wanted to count to the people that do a great job in art and don't care about comments, faves and so on.
And there's my fault, because I do. I need that, and I feel sorry for it.


Whatever. I think that's all you should know.
I tried to change, but I can't. I'm probably just gonna continue this stuff, I don't know if it's bad or not.


The only question I have is,
would you care?
Would you care if I still upload pictures or not? Did you miss my art, or better, me?



That's all I wanna know.
Thanks.

Hey Guys!


Well, I'm so sorry.
I promised to draw more things and to be more active.
Sorry, I couldn't hold it.




I don't know if my watchers are still watching me, hoping for more pictures. I even don't quite know if I ever had watchers, who liked my pictures, as I like the pictures of the great artist here. But I guess that's so normal and so unimportant.



So, the reason why I write here isn't to tell you I'll draw more in the future, sadly.

Wanna know what I've planned?



In exactly 9 days I'm going to fly to the US. I'm going to do an Highschoolyear for one year there. I will leave Germany, my friends and my family, but this experience is all his things I have to leave worth.




What does this mean for my drawings?

I don't think that I ever was or ever will  be one of the big artists here, I'm and other are watching, my god no.
I don't think that I will draw in future much better then now.



But deviantart and the warriorcats forum changed my life a little bit.


"How stupid can someone be, thinking a website can change his life?" might someone of you think now, or " Yeah, I know, you met friends and so one blablah..."

Of course, you're not the only one, thinking like this, inclusive me.
But I don't want to talk about the friends I found here, about my drawings, my problems or all this shit.

I just want to thank you for the way I found the drawing.



Why?

Because as I found the warriorcatsforum, I just could hold a pencil to write something.
I was a lame duck with drawing, I knew this, and everybody knew this also.

In the forum, there were so great and big artists, and their pictures said to me, " Hey, this is so beautiful, you have to draw like them!"
And I tried.



Today I make jokes about people, giving other "WannabeArtists" Request and Commissions and so on. But I know now, I started as a "WannabeArtist" and I'm still one.
So, thanks to the Artists of the forum, that gave me hope with their pictures, and everyone, wanting a picture of me.

Then I joined deviantart. And I found out the meaning of a fursona. Because my fursona should have a special name, I thought this should also be my username here.
Thanks to people, helping me with my name, thanks again to the forum, showing me the world of fursonas.

Because of so many tutorials, redlines, critics and help my pictures are now how they are.
I don't think I progress so much, but that's my own fault.
Thanks to everyone, helping me with my drawings.

Today, I can say, I can draw a bit better then other people.
Today, I can say, I chose the Higher Art Course in School, for not loosing the passion of drawing and to improve myself.

And so I have to thank everyone, for my pictures being how they are now.
In some way they changed my life.
Thank you.

As I said, I will go to America.
I have a blog uploaded, but I don't want to give it to everybody.
Please write me a note, if you want to read about my year.

I hope I will find the amazing feeling of drawing again in the year and after it,
and then you will find my pictures here again.




Love